10 weeks on!

Today, the girls are officially 10 weeks old (5 adjusted). I can't believe how much they have changed already. I look at their SCBU photos when they were super tiny and had feeding tubes coming out of their noses, and little skinny arms and legs. And now I have to lift their fat rolls when I bathe/dry them or try and put them in their car seats. I just love feeling their chubby thighs and kissing their chubby cheeks.  And as of last week, they finally fit into their newborn clothes (i.e., no more preemie clothes) which means they have a whole new wardrobe! I wish I was that lucky.

The changes so far are:

Both are now over 3.5kg's and have moved into a whole new clothes size!
Both focus on us, especially when we talk to them. We can hold them in our arms and move our heads from side to side and they will turn their heads to watch us.
Both smile! Still a bit unpredictable, but has happened whilst talking to them, kissing their feet and cuddling them.
They have definitely found their lungs!
Ruby seems to be the quickest to let us know when she is not happy and boy, is she loud compared to her sister.
Ava is a chatter box and will lie in her bassinet or bouncy chair and squeak and squeal and yelp away. Sometimes we talk to her and she squeaks back :) Ruby on the other hand just cries or is quiet. Nothing in between for her :)

Support from the Fam Bam

My mum stayed with us for 6 weeks - from 25/12/12 until 29/1/13. We all got off to a bit of a rocky start (okay, a very rocky start) as it was only our 2nd night home with the babies, and Josh and I had sort of gotten into our own rythm, so we didn't know how to fit mum in. And she didn't know how to fit in. Plus, she'd broken her hand badly about a month before she came over, so was a bit incapacitated.

After what felt like 2 very long weeks, a few tears, shouts and trying to change mum's flights so she could leave earlier than planned (she couldn't), something just shifted and all of a sudden, it just worked. And then she was AMAZING and super helpful.  She became our champion burper, which was incredibly important as the girls seemed to be having a lot of problems with wind after every feed.  And she always looked after me (ie., always made sure I was fed and watered). 

Josh and I struggled with the the early morning feed (usually around 6 or 7) and she'd swoop in and let Josh sleep and then take the girls into the lounge as soon they'd been fed and burped, which meant that I got to sleep for an hour or two until their next feed. Ahh bliss!

 Mum with the girls.


By the end of her 6 weeks I was devastated to see her go. And I was terrified of how I'd cope without her. But I didn't have long to freak out as  a couple of days later, my sister came over for a week.  Mum had coached her well on what to do, and she'd bring me a cup of tea during the morning feed and then whisk the girls away just like mum did.  Again, it was awful to see her go. I miss my family so, so much and I hate that I can't just pop over to visit them when I'm feeling lonely, or pick up the phone and say "come over please" when I feel like I need another pair of hands.

We are working on getting the girls passports so that I won't feel so stuck, and then hopefully I'll be able to go to Aus for a couple of weeks. Still haven't figured out where we are all supposed to stay but I'm fairly certain that the family wont let us go homeless :)

Life at home with the girls

6 weeks on and the girls are thriving!

They now have chubby little cheeks and little pot bellies. And oh boy, have they found their lungs! No more little meows, now they let out blood curdling screams when they are hungry. Or when they have wind. Or when they want attention. Mum says they still aren't that loud, but then she is half deaf so who knows :)

We've loved having the girls home, although I have been struck with the odd bout of cabin fever. But it has never lasted long as we go out as much as we can. So far, we've taken them to the in-laws for X-mas day celebrations. And to Cornwall park for a walk. To Siza and Ben's house for a New Years Eve bbq. Along Mission Bay for a walk with the great-grandparents. Back to the in-laws for Adam and Myke's welcome home party.  To the holiday house for a holiday by the sea (where we also ended up having a bbq with friends which turned into an impromptu party, and Uncle Adam popped over for a night before he left the country).  Drew and Nathania's house for a quick visit. And Harry's birthday picnic in Cornwall park.

So yes, we've been busy! Cos that's not including all the house visits we've also had - Simon, Glynny and Hannah. Grandy and Kit. Lisa and Manish. Shirin and Bella. Harry and Trilby. and the in-laws a few times.

The girls have been so good for all of these social events, although we have had to use the dummies more than a couple of times. And every time I use the dummy, I make a promise to myself that I'll stop relying on it so much. And then I promptly turn to it the very next time I struggle to settle a crying baby. Bah!

SCBU

My girls spent 19 days in SCBU.

They moved from the heated incubator to an open cot with a heated blanket.
They had the heated blanket removed. Came off heart monitors. Came off apnoea mats.
Moved from tube feedings to a mixture of tube feeds/breastfeeds with top ups.
Began to breastfeed exclusively during the day.

Day 16: I spent 1 night in the expressing room so I could establish breastfeeding during the night. I was supposed to do it on my own, but Josh showed up around 2am after his gig and after that, he never left our side.
We then spent 3 nights in the parents room, and had the girls in there with us as well. And the girls got their feeding tubes taken out!!!

Finally, on day 19 (Christmas Eve) we were all given permission to go home. Woohoooo!

Almost 2 weeks old!

I can't believe my baby girls have been in this world for almost 2 weeks already!

They are now both in open cots and we are busy working on establishing breastfeeding, so they are officially known as "feeders and growers".  Word on the street is that we may even be able to go home on Xmas eve! What an awesome xmas present that would be!

My beautiful girls continue to surprise and delight me with the funny faces they make, their squeaky noises, the bubbles they blow and their little gazey eyes.  Just when I think I couldnt love them any more, I fall in love all over again and just that bit more.  I especially love their "kissy kissy" faces - when they pout their little lips. Sooo cute! And they also do a Joshy face, where they wrinkle up their little foreheads as they try oh so hard to open their eyes.  Love love love my baby girls.

Breastfeeding is amazing when it goes well, but we havent mastered tandem feeding.  So it totally upsets the apple cart if one decides that she isnt ready for bed after all, and starts to give hungry cues whilst I already have another baby on the boob. So overwhelming! We do sometimes try to put both on at the same time, but then one will fall off, and as I'm trying to get her back on, the other falls off, and then I have to try and get both back on, and I feel like I'm watching a ping pong match as I go back and forth between both girls, trying to see who has their mouths open wide enough. I'm hoping tandem feeding will become easier as the girls latching gets better. Fingers crossed!

Nothing worse than a crying baby (or two crying babies eeeeek!), and I can't tell what she wants. Ava was crying yesterday after 2 goes on the boob, and she was doing hungry cues, opening her mouth and moving her head around. I couldn't believe she was still hungry though as she'd had a solid go at the breast. But we put her back on (tandem) and sure enough, she wouldn't latch on. She was screaming by this stage, but I found that once she got into the feeding position (lying on her side), it seemed to give her some relief, so I'm thinking that she had a sore tummy and lying on her side or tummy fixed it.  We tried this again after another feed and it seemed to settle her pretty quickly.

Anyway, it's after 2am, so I should head back to bed. There is so much I want to write and remember about these early days, but the internet connection at the hospital is not the best. And when I do get to write it all down, I feel like my words are not sufficient to record these amazing days and moments. How do I capture these emotions I feel? I'm so scared of forgetting moments that I'd love to share with these girls when they are older. And time is flying by so quickly and lack of sleep is starting to make my mind fuzzy. 

We played our baby playlist today as I breastfed and it was beautiful. I fed Ruby last and as she fell asleep in my arms, Joshy wrapped his arms around me and we swayed to the dulcet sounds of Ray Charles.  And I thought, now this is what I always thought motherhood would feel like, only this is 100 times better. So lucky to have these two beautiful baby girls in my life x

Change of plans

We showed up at the hospital at 8am, with our packed suitcase, thinking that today was the day. But instead we got turned away as they had an emergency section on the weekend and NICU was now full.

So we had a scan to make sure the bubba's are okay (doppler readings are still high, but not absent) and got their heart rates monitored for 20 mins (both were around 120 mark and OB Keira seemed happy with that). 

So next plan of action is to try again on Wednesday (tomorrow). I have a definite slot this time - 3rd on the list. The main issue is still whether or not there is space in NICU. They said it would be very unlikely that we would be turned away a 2nd time, but there is still a tiny risk that it could happen.

I have to admit that I was so happy about the change of plans. Monday  felt too rushed to me and just didn't feel right. Josh says it's only 2 days, but come Wednesday, they will be 34 weeks and 5 days...that bit closer to being 35 weeks.  Oh yeah, and I'll know the team that does the surgery on Wednesday - either Keira and/or Emma.   So fingers crossed for a 5th December birthday for these two littlies!

What an emotional rollercoaster!

Last day of being pregnant: 34 wks and 2 days